One of the things that most soon-to-be married folks don’t get advise on is how to be financially prepared for real life, which comes after the wedding. After all the party jollof has been eaten. And all the pictures have been taken. All the demanding family members have gone back to their homes, real life begins. For most couples, confusion sets in about the financial future/ plans for their new small family.
Money issues are listed as one of the top 5 reasons for divorce worldwide, and for Nigeria it is no different. I remember when I went to the court to get an affidavit for my court wedding and the commissioner of oaths was advising me against doing a court wedding. He said if I must, I should transfer all my properties and assets to my brother so as not to get robbed in marriage since Abuja marriages don’t last!
I wish I was making this up. There is a lot of well- meaning but terrible advice out there. You have to be careful. If you are about to get married or you are newly married, this is for you!
Here are some things that you need to do before you get married:
1. Have a discussion about money with your spouse-to-be:
This discussion should be part of your courtship process. Your job is to study the person you plan to spend the rest of your life with. The person you are promising to share all your worldly goods with. Is this person worth it? Do you trust this person with your bank details? If No, you should reconsider your decision. Here are some questions you need to ask
– Do you have any debt?
– What are your thoughts on spending money on family members?
– Who would be in charge of paying the bills?
– What are your financial goals for the next 5 years?
– What are your career goals and expectations?
– What is the maximum that we can spend before we have to inform the other person?
– What is most important thing to spend our money on?
– Do your parents pay for any of your current bills?
– Is it acceptable to get financial help for parents/ family after we get married?
– How do you save money and at what percentage?
– How do you spend your entertainment money?
– How many children do you want to have and what kind of school do you want to send them to?
The Goal is to make sure that you are on the same page financially. There are no wrong or right answers. The aim of the exercise is to ensure that whatever choices you make as a couple regarding how to spend your money is accepted by both parties.
2. Have a very healthy savings
Weddings have a way of sucking out all the money you have if you don’t put some controls in your spending. If you have not read my previous article on how to plan a budget friendly wedding click here. Your wedding day is just one day, it might be a special day for you but it should not take top priority over the rest of your life.
One of the ways that I ensured that I had a very healthy saving was to put away all cash gifts given to me before and during the wedding into my savings. I had already made a budget for how much I wanted to spend on the wedding and set aside the money, so I assumed that any extra wedding gift was to be allocated for my marriage. Many people make the mistake of spending all the extra money on the wedding ceremony, you shouldn’t do that.
3. Never borrow money for your wedding:
If you feel like you need to borrow money for the ceremony, something is wrong somewhere. It is either that you panning a wedding that is above your means or you have not done a proper wedding budget/plan. Either way, beginning your marriage in debt is never a good idea. Adjusting to your new life is already difficult enough, adding debt will only make the tensions worse.
4. Enjoy yourself:
This life is not as hard as we make it sometimes. When you make the right financial decisions and marry the right person, Marriage can be very blissful. Mark out money for celebrating your marriage and your spouse even after the wedding. Life is very short and since you have decided to spend this short time with this person make sure you enjoy it wisely!
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